back!

for all of you that have missed me - im back. so no worries. no more tears. no more sleepless nights. im here. you can all rest assured that life is now ok.

anyway - let's talk about how some people are ridiculous. just ridiculous. example: while laying out on the lovely beaches of the outer banks, my cousin and i witnessed one of the most horrific sites EVER. a teenage girl, roughly 14 or 15, was applying tanning oil to her tan, overweight MOTHER. but not in the normal spots - no, no, no. she was slathering it onto her butt cheeks that did not fit into the tiny bikini that she should definitely NOT have been wearing.

the moral of this story is simple: please do not squeeze yourself into a tiny bathing suit that will cause anyone who views it to look away in horror and want to kill themselves. and please, for the love of all that is holy, do not have your TEENAGE DAUGHTER slather tanning oil on your butt. EVER.

the end.