Tuesday, November 6, 2007

The List: A Sad, Sad Story





I tried to scan this but it wouldn't work. This is the letter Kellogg's sent me after receiving my request for a box of discontinued Frosted Grape Pop-Tarts.
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October 29, 2007


Ms. Ashleigh ___
address
address

Dear Ms. _____:


Thank you for your comments regarding Kellogg's (R) Pop-Tarts (R) Frosted Grape. Consumer satisfaction is important to us, and your interest in our products is sincerely appreciated.

This product is no longer marketed by our company, since consumer demand simply does not warrant its continued production. At this time, there are no plans to reintroduce this product. However, as an alternate, you might enjoy a similar product called Pop-Tarts Splitz tm Strawberry Blueberry. We are sending you a coupon so that you can try it!

We appreciate your interest and loyalty to our brands and trust that we will continue to meet your needs for many years to come.

Sincerely,

(horrible, computer generated signature)



Yesenia Sanchez
Consumer Affairs, Department

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My Thoughts:

1. I am truly impressed that Kellogg's actually wrote me a personal letter (we'll look over the faux-signature).


2. If you had paid attention to the photocopied insert of my Pop-Tarts list you'll see, Yesenia, that I have already tried the Splitz flavor. It received a 4 star rating.


3. In what world is a strawberry/blueberry mix a good substitute for Frosted Grape? Oh, that's right, a world in which your life revolves around marketing YOUR NEWEST PRODUCT and not pleasing the customer.


4. There is no enclosed coupon.


5. I did not ask you to "reintroduce" the product, I asked for a single box of Pop-Tarts. Details, details....


6. I'm going to search EBay.**


7. If you can't send me just one box of a product that you have, no doubt, just sitting around your warehouse, how will you ever be able to "continue to meet [my] needs for many years to come?



**EDIT: EBay was a bust

7 comments:

Hawley said...

Yesenia needs a booty kickin.

Megan said...

let me tell you - if there is time enough to craft a letter and a least 'think' about enclosing a coupon - no doubt there was time to search the warehouse for one lousy box of frosted grape pop tarts that i'm sure they still have lying around somewhere. i am very disappointed in kelloggs.

Ashleigh said...

... I think she's probably in an office in India and nowhere near the actual plant, making it impossible... again, not my problem, please just send me a box.

Andrew said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Andrew said...

I will not rest until Ashleigh ____ has tasted a Grape Pop-Tart.

DAMN YOU KELLOGG'S!!!

LWGillan said...

Phe-blan. Just go for the brown sugar pop-tarts; they let you avoid any semblance of real-foodness.

Anthony said...

This doesn't surprise you, does it?

There are books based on this, you know. Writing companies and seeing what the response is.

Aside from checking out your newest posts I wanted to turn you on to my new Surfer's Paradise Carnival. I hope you'll join in.