For those of you who will not slack enough today to read all of these - here are some of my favs:
Doctor to patient with teardrop tattoo under eye: That's a pretty cool tattoo. Where'd you get it? Patient, uneasily: Uh... At this place I used to stay. Doctor: That wouldn't be jail, would it? Patient: Maybe...
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Male cube rat: I need a word that rhymes with 'vaginal.' Female cube rat #1: Why? Male cube rat: I'm writing a poem. Female cube rat #1: What kind of poem has the word 'vaginal' in it? Male cube rat: Don't interrogate me. Just help me out. Female cube rat #2: This poem isn't about me, is it? Male cube rat: I'll bet Alfred Lord Tennyson didn't have to put up with a bunch of fucking questions.
--
Art director, peeling an orange: I wish homeless people smelled like oranges.
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Friendly worker guy: Hey, you guys -- I just took one sip of this energy drink and I don't really want it. Does anyone want it? [No one answers. A few minutes later] Hey, you guys -- there is a lot of turkey on this sandwich. Does anyone want some? Normal worker guy: Hey, you guys -- I've had this peanut M&M in my mouth for four days. Does anyone want it?
--
Ancient lesbian waitress: You ever tried to buy dental dams at three A.M. in the Bible belt? Wide-eyed teen bus boy: Uh... I have sooo many questions about what you just said...
2 comments:
For those of you who will not slack enough today to read all of these - here are some of my favs:
Doctor to patient with teardrop tattoo under eye: That's a pretty cool tattoo. Where'd you get it?
Patient, uneasily: Uh... At this place I used to stay.
Doctor: That wouldn't be jail, would it?
Patient: Maybe...
--
Male cube rat: I need a word that rhymes with 'vaginal.'
Female cube rat #1: Why?
Male cube rat: I'm writing a poem.
Female cube rat #1: What kind of poem has the word 'vaginal' in it?
Male cube rat: Don't interrogate me. Just help me out.
Female cube rat #2: This poem isn't about me, is it?
Male cube rat: I'll bet Alfred Lord Tennyson didn't have to put up with a bunch of fucking questions.
--
Art director, peeling an orange: I wish homeless people smelled like oranges.
--
Friendly worker guy: Hey, you guys -- I just took one sip of this energy drink and I don't really want it. Does anyone want it? [No one answers. A few minutes later] Hey, you guys -- there is a lot of turkey on this sandwich. Does anyone want some?
Normal worker guy: Hey, you guys -- I've had this peanut M&M in my mouth for four days. Does anyone want it?
--
Ancient lesbian waitress: You ever tried to buy dental dams at three A.M. in the Bible belt?
Wide-eyed teen bus boy: Uh... I have sooo many questions about what you just said...
Ashleigh = THE COOLEST!!
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