Monday, October 15, 2007

Why Whole Foods Is Worth The Price

I really don't want to bring down the mood of this funny, witty blog so I will try to make this as humourous as possible. I guess that's the best thing to do when you find yourself in situations like this.

Picture it: Giant Grocery store, Wisconsin Avenue, NW, Washington DC. One of the most affluent sections of the city. A young man stops into a grocery store, one he frequents quite often, as it is 3 blocks from where he works. He innocently buys a loaf of potato bread and some Chef Boyardee products, all of which will be used to create lunches for the week for both he and his partner. Yes, the young man is gay.

It is now 6:00 p.m. The young man is checking out in one of the Express Check-out lanes. Nia is his cashier. She is a young African-American woman*, very pretty, 18-22 years old, approximately. As she is passing the young man's groceries through the scanner, she says to a fellow cashier, in a very disgusted tone, "Gee, a lot of gay people come in here."

The young man freezes.

The other cashier says "What?"

Nia replies, "I said a lot of gay people come into Giant."

The other cashier chuckles and playfully tells her to "Shut up."

The young man signs his credit card receipt and glares at Nia.

I am that young gay man. And let me tell you...

Hell hath no fury like a gay man scorned.

Could I have confronted her right then and there? Yes.
Could I have screamed for the store manager? Totally.
Could I have bitch-slapped her into the middle of next week? Absolutely.

However, creating a scene would most likely just label me "crazy" and "hypersensitive."

So, I took another route. I walked to my car, pulled out my receipt, got the time of purchase, Terminal number and Cashier name. Pulled out my cell phone. I called the store manager. Told him the scenario and kindly requested that some sort of action take place. I thanked him and hung up. Drove the two blocks back to my office. Got onto Giant's corporate page and emailed them the situation and demanded that Nia's employment be terminated. I told them that if I ever went into that store again and saw Nia there I would take it as a sign that Giant does not take this type of bigotry and ridiculous customer service seriously and would never patronize Giant again. I went on to say that I would encourage the gay population of DC through its many publications, organizations and network, to discontinue shopping at Giant. And let me tell you. They would listen. Don't piss off the gay community. When push comes to shove, we stick together.

It is my quest to get that girl fired and I will not rest until I have confirmation that she is making chicken sandwiches at Chick-Fil-A. She'll fit in nicely there - they hate the gays. I will protest outside Giant all by my little gay self to make this happen.

If anyone reading this goes to the Giant on Wisconsin Avenue in Washington, DC and happens to see Nia, please tell her that yes, gay people do come into Giant all the time. If you're not gay, tell her that a gay person sent you and wanted you to tell her "hi."

Then slap the bitch upside the head.

*I only include the fact that she is African American to illustrate the irony of one minority discrimminating against another, particularly since her remarks illustrate the exact same kind of prejudice and response African Americans fought so hard (and still fight today) to over come.


Ashleigh said...

Why does this crap alway happen to you?
I'll go check for you some time. Totally.

Can you imagine how this would have gone down if it happened at the Safeway when we worked at Arena? Every single person would be protesting in front of the store.


You're awesome.

K. Myers said...

this was one of THE most hilarious posts acube has ever seen.

and on a more serious note - i apologize that dumb asses like Nia exist. UGH.

Andrew said...

There's one in every grocery store. Sometimes more than one. As a former cashier for a grocery store, I worked with about five. And that's just cashiers. If I lived in the DC area, I'd take my knowledge of cashier frustrations and use them ALL on Nia. BETCH.

Ryan said...

I'll email them too, since i'm a gay. Ugggh and now I have to boycott chick-fil-a as well... damnit I love those sandwiches. Uggh.

chatterboy said...

Ryan - thanks for emailing them! I still haven't heard anything from them. Betches.