Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Free Writing (6.26.07) : "Analysis"

Analysis. That’s what my immediate life has whittled down to. Well, analysis and the interviews with disgruntled employees which breeds all analysis. It’s 8:33 a.m. Tuesday morning, and I have four days left to live in the grayscale world of government contracting. I am twenty-three years old and I am finished. I firmly believe that I have multiple wrinkles on both my temples, which I daily place four fingers on, after setting two elbows on my desk. Then I rotate my hands clockwise and close my eyes.

The first three pages of the Word document in front of me is one long, stuffed Table of Contents and now I’m fighting my way into the thick jungle of contract summaries. And by “jungle” I mean “51 pages of white paper, Times New Roman text and various acronyms enclosed by parenthesis”.

Notably, I hold a large amount of affection for words and I’ve spent most of my recent, employed time typing them out. However, I’m noticing a sliver of disgust creep up over phrases like “adjustments to processes” and “support of the impending task”. I’m thankful to be gainfully employed, but let’s be a little honest. The coffee served in the snack shop downstairs does not mix well with the provided creamer, and any establishment offering a pithy assembly of coffee and coffee creamer, is not a place I need to be spending nine hours a day. That’s what unearthing contentment should come down to: good words and perfect coffee. I’m willing to make this brash and somewhat idealistic statement for this one reason: the icon stenciled on the metallic office door in front of me combines pictures of the world, a lightening bolt, an American eagle and, of course, a bolded acronym. I’m starting to realize that anymore, such powerful images can be boiled down to poor graphics work and a whiff of branding. It’s the shotty grave where we’ve laid to rest some of our hardest workers; the wolf, the tiger, the sun, the moon, stars, a handshake… and so my raised fist and I digress back to our beige chair. Analysis. That’s what my immediate life has boiled down to.


Andrew said...

Damn. This post makes today's realization of my painful inadequacy and depressing self-doubt seem all the more real. Welcome to 23. Sigh.

Ashleigh said...

Glad I could help.
It's probably the lack of windows in my office.

Ryan said...

This is over my head but whatever you rock my world.

K. Myers said...

hahahahhhahah oh ryan - at least he's honest!;)