Tuesday, June 5, 2007

"I Will Most Likely Not Be Your Friend If..."

... you are a huge, money hungry, inconsiderate, prostitute of a company that spends 23 hours of its day buying out smaller, more ethical (?) companies like an 18-year old whore teaching all the little pony-tailed freshman how, when, and with whom to put out.

P.S. The other hour is spent looming outside kitchen windows, a constant reminder of how big, demeaning, and uncool you really are.

P.P.S The first person to find me a real, honest-to-god job that has nothing to do with the words "government" or "contracting" will win something perfect. I can't make any real promises, but there will definitely be snacks and maybe puppies involved.


Drew said...

ahahahaahaaaaaaaaaa way to stick it to the man ashleigh. don't worry this whole way of doing business will cause the implosion of our civilization one day ;)

Ashleigh said...

... and we will be there with our sunglasses, popcorn, and Phillip Larkin poetry, watching it all go down.

K. Myers said...

very nice simile/metaphor whatever in the first paragraph.

im keepin my eyes open for you:)

Drew said...