"I Will Most Likely Not Be Your Friend If. . ."

#5

I will most likely not be your friend if you wear those stupid ass bug eye sunglasses. No, I'm sorry, you're not Paris Hilton, and you're not cool. Paris Hilton isn't even cool. If wearing stupid sunglasses that cover half your face and donning a hideous cowboy hat makes you cool, then by all means, go ahead. I'll just be the guy laughing at you and giving you the finger as you strut with your entourage down. . .whatever street you strut down. I guess the one with all the exclusive stores where "hot" girls shop. Awesome, well, enjoy trying to look like the Empire-anointed Princess of Over-Priced Accessories. Hey you know what would make you even cooler? Getting a DUI, then violating parole and getting sentenced to 45 days in prison. Dude, you'd be a such a BAMF!! STOP IT.