Apparently Chicago has the highest gas prices nationally. You know what that means? We're #1! Yes!!! Take that losers!! Other suckers around the U.S. are paying only $3.18 a gallon, while Chicago gets to pay $3.59 a gallon. We obviously love our cars way more than any other state because we're ready and willing to shell it out to Shell and shit dough at Citgo. And we need the gas, especially for our Hummers and SUVs. How else are we going to traverse the deadly and menacing terrain of the Midwest? We can't. So let's celebrate, Chicago! Let's drive around needlessly and show our commitment to the cause; the cause of not caring that we're so dependent on gas that we're still eager to pay out the ass for it! YES!!!!!!
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