Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Don't Quote Me

A new employee in my department recently cleaned off the bulletin board outside of her office. She emailed everyone and asked that we tack up our favorite quotes - the ones that inspire us, make us laugh, cry, smile, or ponder, and in general just say something about us as individuals.

She is going to be sorry tomorrow...

...when I go hog wild, tacking up quotes with a ferocity matched only by Britney Spears clubbing an SUV in a drug/burrito induced-haze.

I live for quotes - the things other people say that I am not smart, funny, clever, or stupid enough to say. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside when I discover a quote that I can incorporate into every conversation I have, or a really inspiring saying that I can type into the scrolling marquee option for my screensaver.

Below is a smattering of the quotes that will invade my office tomorrow. I hope they encourage all my fellow employees to do something nice for someone else, take a risk, try something new, or just start saying something really funny so I can laugh just a little bit more every day. I hope they do the same for you.


“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

"There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way. No day but today." - Jonathan Larson, Rent

"Tina, you fat lard, come get some dinner!" - Napoleon Dynamite

"And then it hit me - I'm outta rum." - Ellen DeGeneres

"When you've finished getting yourself ready in the morning, you must go get the planet ready." - The Little Prince

"Oh mother, I come bearing a gift! I'll give you a hint; it's in my diaper, and it's not a toaster. " - Stewie Griffin

"Everyone can suck it." - Kathy Griffin

"Oh Elle! You look like the 4th of July! Makes me want a hot dog real bad!" - Jennifer Coolidge as Paulette, Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde

"Guess what, Martin Luther King? I had a f%$#^&g dream, too.” - Sarah Silverman

"Life is like a movie. Write your own ending." - Kermit the Frog

"I can sum up our whole philosophy with this glass. I can look at this glass and say its half-full. Which in the modeling world means 'Where the hell is my waiter?!?!' Oh, shut up with the frieken Marco Polo, or I'll rip your little heads off!" - Drop Dead Gorgeous

"Those shoes are mine, betch." - Kelly

"Well, I hate you and your ass face!" - Waiting for Guffman

"Of course you can!" - Steel Magnolias

End quote.


K. Myers said...

"Those shoes are mine, betch." - Kelly

this one by far, takes the cake.

Andrew said...

How about . . .

"Stop putting orange soda in our mouths, David Blaine!!!"

K. Myers said...

"If you can't say anything nice about anybody, come sit by me!"

-Steel Magnolias



Anonymous said...

For these very reasons, I have a "quotations" add on to my "igoogle" homepage (why is EVERYTHING these days "ithis" and "ithat" anwyays, get over the "i" thing, "ipod"s are taking over the world!)

... And every day at work, when I check my personal email BEFORE my work email, I am greeted by these brilliant thoughts. Ranging from hilarity to inspiration, societal evaluation to personal introspection. I love it.

I just looked some up to share... My favorites are the ones that make you laugh :) I'll just look up some randoms and share. Check them out at:

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. - Dick Cavett

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. - Jack London

Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood.
- Louise Beal

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me!
- Jimmy Buffett

Anonymous said...

Oh and I just saw this one! I like it :)

Germaine Greer - "The essence of pleasure is spontaneity."