Thursday, August 30, 2007

seriously people, get it together!

I'll make this short and sweet. Common sense isn't a difficult thing to attain. Most people are born with it. If you pay enough attention to those around you - you'll probably even be able to pick up a few pointers. Since you all seem to be stuck on this one issue, let me help you out.

Walk up/down the right side of hallways/stairs. When you need to enter a building - for the love people use the door on the RIGHT! This is so stinkin simple I really don't understand why everyone is so hung up on it. If you weren't taught - as I mentioned before - just sit back and pay attention and then proceed in the correct way.

I will, at first, smile a fake smile and hold the door for you as you exit the wrong way. Be aware, however, that this courtesy does not last long. That in mind, DON'T STAND BEHIND THE DOOR. I will not hesitate to open the door and smack you in the face with it. Why? Because no one expects some random fool to be standing behind the wrong door so we "don't look." You shouldn't have to be hit with a door for this to sink in, but at times, you leave us no choice. I don't think I am alone here. So go right ahead and keep laughing in the face of common sense. Eventually - you'll look like that guy up there. Not so funny now, is it?

In conclusion, I propose the removal of all safety/warning tags/labels... from everything. They have been attached to their assigned dangerous items for too long. If you want to put aluminum foil in the microwave - be my guest. You want to drop the toaster in the bath with you - please do. You think you can get away with cutting off that mattress tag (wtf?) - go right ahead. I seriously think that we should let all of these people just weed themselves out of society so that we can all live in peace. Amen?


K. Myers said...


Ashleigh said...

We need a good plague.

I said it before Nick.

Megan said...

oooh a plague. a bit more sinister than removing warning labels, but i think i'd be ok with that. just mention the coming of the plague on a warning label. perfect!

Andrew said...

Ashleigh and I have had this conversation before. A plague would be good, but a plague would wipe out amazing people too. What we need is a good SARS epidemic. It's not too deadly, but it will be deadly enough to wipe out the weak ones. And by weak ones I mean dumb asses.

Megan said...

when you describe someone as being weak.. i usually assume you mean mentally weak. naturally

Anonymous said...

Survival of the fittest, eh?

Let's just make sure WE'RE playing the A game, too :)

I wonder what experience inspired the post.

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