Thursday, August 30, 2007

not every phrase is worth quoting.

hello, fellow a-cubers. it's been quite awhile since my last entry and i know most of you are mourning my absence, so here i am. back and ready to go!

lately, it has come to my attention that "good quotes" do not exist anymore. well, they do, they've just been replaced by crappy, stupid, mushy, dont-make-any-sense-but-sound-kinda-cool quotes. (nick - none of your quotes from your previous post fall under this category - just to clarify).

so anyway, where do we find these awful pieces of sentimental devastation? myspace, facebook, blogs, teen girl diaries - you know, the usual.

here are a few that i've stumbled across the last few years, some with my comments, some with no explanation, because well, they're just that awful.

*Don't frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
-this is not necessarily true in all cases. it could very well be that you have the worst smile ever due to yellow teeth, or a snaggle tooth that does not make your smile all that appealing. maybe a scowl would bode better for you when it comes to attraction of the opposite sex. (or same sex, if you're into that)

*Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
-alright, first of all, what's all this nonsense about "measuring our lives"? and if you're gonna get technical, i don't think that breathtaking moments are really a good measuring tool. i mean, sure, you could say you had a pretty great life because you had a few nice moments that were "breathtaking" but what the hell does that even mean? exactly. it means nothing. NOTHING!

*You're never fully dressed without a smile.
-ok, seriously, what is up with all this smiling crap? yes, i think it's nice to be pleasant and smile every now and then. but annoyingly cheerful people who smile all the time are just that - ANNOYING. so please, smile when necessary, but a straight face completes any outfit just fine.

*Life's not a sprint, it's marathon.
-i think im seeing a theme here - life and smiles. is that really all we have to label? and who the heck decided that life was a race anyway? and how are marathons and sprints any different? they are both races and they both end. and someone wins. no one wins life. unless you're playing the GAME life, as in the one made by Matell where you pick an occupation and ride around the board in little plastic blue and pink cars and pay insurance and have kids and stuff. that's the only game of life that you can ever win. period.

*Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth.
-i have no comment for this one except: UGH. UGHHHHHH.

*If you love something set it free; if it comes back, it was and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
-i can think of many cases where this is not true - for example, if you set your dog (who you love) free, and he comes back, because maybe he doesn't want to be set free and would like a roof over his head with food, water, etc.; and if he doesn't come back, he still was yours to begin with, because HELLO, he's your dog and you paid for him and took care of him!!!!!!!!!

The point is this - life is full of a lot of crap and it really sucks at times - but there is no meaning to these ridiculous quotes, and littering your myspace, facebook, diary, car bumper, etc is not going to make you understand life any better or make you feel like life is ok because now you have a dumb quote in your life that makes you smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

So I leave you with this, the only phrase worth quoting:

"Never assume, because it makes an ass out of u and me."

and that, my friends, is a quote to live by. :)


Ashleigh said...

Kerri, I don't think you're letting go and letting God.

K. Myers said...

" was then that i carried you."


Anonymous said...

Maybe the work place, the cubicle, makes us a wee bit cynical, eh? Well, cheers to that. ha.

About the fourth quote:

My headmistress (a snobby way of saying "principal") in high school always told us that "if you don't get A's in school, you can still get A's in life." Basically, one of the hugest farces ever expressed, considering the competition and drive of our HS. We were like a mini-Harvard. I chose to go to public school and no one could believe it was a choice - I didn't even consider Ivy's or small liberal arts...

A in life?

Really. Like we get grades in life.

Like life is a race. hahaha...

Maybe a regatta.

K. Myers said...

A's in life? who exactly is the "teacher" in life who is giving out these so called grades? that is the real question...

Ashleigh said...

Also, does it say something that life is only one class grade? Hit or miss. No second chances.

Andrew said...

"We don't stop laughing because we get old; we get old because we stop laughing."

I hate quotes like this, where they just flip the words around. Anyone can make up a shitty quote by switching words.

"We don't have hope because we love life, we love life because we have hope." - Andrew

See? Stupid and as hell.

Megan said...

the lame-o quotes aren't stupid because we hate them. we hate the lame-o quotes because they're stupid.

chatterboy said...

"You're never fully dressed without a smile." is especially a big bag of bull shit because it is not only a dumb thing to say, but it originates from a song from the musical "Annie." Yes, that lame ass saying is actually a song.

And I can sing it for you, if you'd like, in all my fagulocity.

Ashleigh said...

Nice use of a made up word!

Love it.

K. Myers said...

love it. love it all.

Anonymous said...

"When a thing has been said and well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it."
- Anatole France