Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Club.



I’m a fairly observant person. I notice what people are wearing. I remember which restaurants serve which perfect chocolaty desserts. I pay attention to detail. Lately, I’ve been noticing a trend in the R&B music genre. Actually, it’s been brewing for the past few years, maybe you’ve also observed the reference. I need to know where The Club is and I need to know how I can get in. Stat. Maybe you know it as “Da Club”. As far as I can tell The (Da) Club is an exclusive establishment that I’ve never come across, but plenty of people have immortalized The Club in song. It's never just "a club", some random place on the corner, it's always "The Club". I bet it’s small, well protected, nondescript and hidden in some corner of Miami or LA. As far as I can tell these fine people definitely hang out there: R. Kelly, 50 Cent, The Game, Young Buck, Black Eyed Peas, J Kwon, Lil’ Jon, Beyonce, and Britney Spears. Also, I’m pretty sure Will Smith and Paul Wall both chill in The Club and frankly, those are two people I would like to immediately associate myself with.


Where is The Club and how do I get in? I’m tall, blonde, and sociable plus I promise to commemorate my experience in song.

Here’s a taste:
.....
I Got Into The Club (I’m White)

(phat beat)

(Jay-Z sample)

I got into the club, in London it’s called a pub
Baby, I gots tha in if you anti-drug
…..

I'll work on it, just unhook that velvet rope.


T- Minus 30 days.

5 comments:

Andrew said...

Yo, Shorty, doz R sum perty dope lyrix ur rockin' up in herrrr. Howz bout u rock summa mine. Here we go...

Alright. Uh. Check. Uh.

Turn it up in muh headphonez.

(HUGE BASS)

Yeah. Uh. Levels. Check dem levels.

(LEVELS ADJUSTED)
(CUE SAMPLE FROM ARBITRARY MOTOWN HIT)

Step into muh ride wit muh Gucci shoes
Rappin' about my misogynistic views
Spinners on muh wheelz, showin off muh bling
My girl's face gotta bruise from muh diamond ring
Roll into DA CLUB, holla at sum bitches
I get more girls than 50 Cent had stitches

Shiiiiiiit

Chorus:
Tryin ta hoooooolla
At DA CLUB
Spend dat doooooolla
At DA CLUB
No one tries ta front when I start ta rock
Though my albums make Nickelback look like Bach

(FADE OUT)

Dats wut I gotz so far. Holla atcha boyyyy. Holla.

Ashleigh said...

Wow.

WOW.

You can totally get me in.

Ryan said...

OMG get me into the club ASAP

megan said...

let me tell you - if pandrew (a.k.a. my hip hop hero) is gonna be there, i'm in.

just unhook those velvet ropes (which ashleigh and i have decided would instead be made of the finest weave)

Adamma said...

Thanks for writing this.