The Club.

I’m a fairly observant person. I notice what people are wearing. I remember which restaurants serve which perfect chocolaty desserts. I pay attention to detail. Lately, I’ve been noticing a trend in the R&B music genre. Actually, it’s been brewing for the past few years, maybe you’ve also observed the reference. I need to know where The Club is and I need to know how I can get in. Stat. Maybe you know it as “Da Club”. As far as I can tell The (Da) Club is an exclusive establishment that I’ve never come across, but plenty of people have immortalized The Club in song. It's never just "a club", some random place on the corner, it's always "The Club". I bet it’s small, well protected, nondescript and hidden in some corner of Miami or LA. As far as I can tell these fine people definitely hang out there: R. Kelly, 50 Cent, The Game, Young Buck, Black Eyed Peas, J Kwon, Lil’ Jon, Beyonce, and Britney Spears. Also, I’m pretty sure Will Smith and Paul Wall both chill in The Club and frankly, those are two people I would like to immediately associate myself with.

Where is The Club and how do I get in? I’m tall, blonde, and sociable plus I promise to commemorate my experience in song.

Here’s a taste:

.....
I Got Into The Club (I’m White)

(phat beat)

(Jay-Z sample)

I got into the club, in London it’s called a pub
Baby, I gots tha in if you anti-drug
…..

I'll work on it, just unhook that velvet rope.

T- Minus 30 days.