One Helluva Floater

It seems we've gone for a little while without a disgusting bathroom story. Allow me to break the trend.

Yesterday, I walked into the men's bathroom to, ahem, take care of some business when I noticed the familiar remainders of an insufficient flush in the first stall. You should take note that the bathrooms in our building are not known for their flushing power, so it's not uncommon to stumble upon this. Regardless, bathroom etiquette states that you should flush multiple times if necessary. When I opened the door and found this in the stall, I quickly flushed the toilet. Low and behold, of course, it all didn't go down. One little straggler remained afloat. Irritated I flushed again, hopeful that he would finally go down. He didn't. The tenacious fecal ball was apparently very resilient. But I was persistent as well. Flush three. Also unsuccessful. He went down into the pipes as if to trick me, then popped right back out. Bastard! Luckily, no one else was in the bathroom. I didn't want to be blamed for leaving the stall without flushing. I went to the next stall, and once I finished TCOB, I returned for a fourth flush. This time, it went down. I waited for about a minute to make sure he wasn't going to pop right back out again.

I deduced that the person who left this behind was an unhealthy eater, because apparently the more your poop floats, the higher the fat content of your diet. Four flushes for one little straggler doesn't look very good for this dude. He should probably lay off all the Hot Pockets. You know who isn't an unhealthy eater?

Jonathan Taylor Thomas. He's a vegetarian.